I'm caught in a struggle, an internal struggle, between going full-on capitalism and rebelling against it altogether. I know I could win pretty well at it, but I want to maintain the integrity I have obtained by putting myself into the position I am in. Little waste, harmony with my environment, but I don't have those little pages of power that I can use to obtain travel, services, and other products which I cannot produce myself. I don't want to compromise my liberty, though. Should I get a job, and if so, where? I know I shall, and with income without outflow, it can accumulate and I can purchase assets (a boat, tools, adventure gear, et al) so that I can increase my liberty in the future. Yes, this is the best route to go about.
So where should I work? Should I market my skills as a specialist and work freelance? Should I plug into the job market and become mainstream, working for Macy's or Pretzel Palace or Sunglass Hut? What if I find myself in that dreaded position of not-yet-itude? That is the biggest fear. Oh, I might get a promotion. Oh, I spent too much money, I need a little more. I have goals, and I must maintain a passionate vigor at all times in reserve, to attain these dreams at all cost. I have done it before, getting to work for Greenpeace, move to San Francisco, meet Kevin Danaher, go searching for my father, etcetera. I must continue this pursuit and avoid the pitfalls so abundant in modern life; the visceral pleasures which take hold of our hearts and souls; pursuit of partying, lasciviousness, shiny and expensive things; they will be all the sweeter after achieving my more noble objectives first, and shaping out the right place in this world for myself.
Now if I believe, truly, that the world will fall to chaos, that human society as it is cannot be maintained for long, then I have two primary options that I distinguish for myself. The first, is to figure out alternatives and begin living them now, making a place for myself to live capital-free, locally and with assets to myself. But this means forgoing some of the more fantastic opportunities available to us in the first-world, which I may never get the chance to take if I wait. Should I ride the party train to hell, so-to-speak, a short but marvelous ride at the cost of my soul and longevity? That is, say fuck the environment, not enough is being done, we're damned if we do/damned if we don't, so drink heartily from the glass of now, riding trucks and flying and building grand buildings and consuming voraciously? I shan't, but it is a seductive option I fear numerous others will take.
About Me
- Sir Lancealot
- This is my journal of experiences, thoughts, ideas, and experiments; it is erratic, sometimes fruitless, sometimes profound (at least for me). I don't advertise it, but I don't mind the occasional cyber-wanderer taking a gander at it. I tend to meander when I write, to jump to new topics without transition, and some things I say are tied to things I've talked about before, so feel free to hop around and just read what pops out at you.